Witness Protection Program..

So, I saw a lady dressed as a witch this morning (think Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus).. And no, it wasn't for Halloween.. It was far too early and she was far too serious in her mannerisms for it to be play.. Unless she was trying to be ironic in a way and that in itself was an act? I have no idea..

Moving on..

I also saw a lady walking down the road (haha, there's more to this story, I promise). Anyways, this lady was consumed by this phone call and you couldn't help but notice her due to how loud she was, but that's fine.. That happens. Except the next part is just a little off.. So for entertainment purposes, let's cut straight to the next part.. Here goes: As soon as she hung up from her phone call, she was visibly upset.. She walked a few steps, noticed a stray orange balloon (I am not sure what's going on with the balloon either, but it was by the entrance of Starbucks).. She then went forward and picked it up with both hands, clenched it so tight till it burst. As soon as she achieved that much, she let out a sigh of relief and started walking away with some sort of glee. As I crossed by the entrance of Starbucks, I couldn't help but wonder whether that former balloon was just a stray one since there were a couple inside with two little kids (think 5 and 3) the estimated 5 year old had a blue balloon while the 3 year old had non.

Seriously.. Where do these people come from? Why am I witnessing all this as I walk down one busy street in order to make it to my destination? I mean, yes.. I know they say that life is a circus.. I just never knew it could be taken literally.

I wonder, will there be a point where I would be blind to such stuff, as in walk by and not bat an eye?

Probably not..

I still can't walk past a homeless person without wondering about his or her life and what happened, without my heart going out to them a little, especially the elderly.. I also can't walk by any elderly person managing to carry grocery bags that are obviously too heavy for them and not feel bad for them and wish I could help them carry their bags home.

Far Far

I just realized that world cinema isles in most DVD stores aren't really that worldly?

I say this because I've been looking for the same few movies that I needed for awhile now..

(Salt of this Sea, The Color of Pomegranates, Seven Samurais, Maria Full of Grace, Captain Abu Raed)..

Mind you, I failed to find any of them except for one (Maria Full of Grace). This brings me to the conclusion that world cinema to most is still pretty mainstream.. As odd as that may sound?

Anywhoo, that being said..

I shall now leave you with Yael Naim.

Re-Occuring Thoughts..

Lately, my days have been very hazy. Sometimes being insanely busy can almost merge days together where sleep is the only divide. And when I say sleep.. I mean not enough of it (at all), but it's the only thing that separates the hectic hours of the day.

Right now, I am doing my internship phase - something I have to do right after school, and before thinking of the next step really. I do consider myself lucky.. As it is at a very good place and is something very surreal and extremely interesting. Even though I am loving it so far, it's also very busy, hectic and demanding (note: I'm very much used to that last part, and I know anything worth it isn't easy at all, I've learned that part very well over the past few years) However, the long and daily back to back hours can be exhausting and basically.. It feels like I get home late after a long day, eat dinner, go to sleep and it's tomorrow all of a sudden. (By the way, non of this is said in a whiny nor complaining kind of way.. Not at all..)

Early morning the next day is when I wake up, shower, eat my breakfast, get ready and make my way towards the day ahead.. (you get the picture)..

However, today.. as I was getting ready I started thinking..

I can't remember the last real friend I had. And when I say friend, I mean a real friend. Not random social gatherings that turn into an obligation almost, with people you do like but don't really (know) regardless of how long you have known them. But a friend/friends whom you know are there and people you count on as ones who will always be there almost like sisters (I have non by the way, and the funny part is I feel a little bad about that fact now, though I never thought about it in the past).. To be able to look back, 40 years from now and reminisce on the times, laugh about what is silly and feel nostalgic towards the good?

Lately I have come to realize that people don't really know me (I don't mean that in a bad way, but they just don't know me.. I can't think of a better way to say it) and I find that very unsettling. I know I live away and changed a lot.. And I have to put that into consideration. But I still believe in the statement I mentioned prior and I mean it towards people whom distance should not have affected. I guess I am the kind of person who isn't easy to get to know? That my shy nature could be misunderstood for something else? That quiet can be taken for boring? I don't know.. Or maybe it's just that I am one who is very easily forgotten? I don't know.. But it's unsettling to realize that people who you think should know you better, don't. I wonder a lot but never understand what it is that I could possibly be doing wrong, how one could genuinely care for people yet get lost in the shuffle.

Maybe this is me venting? Perhaps.. The thing is, I do consider myself as a good person, a very good one actually with a lot to offer the world? and I am not saying this in a big headed kind of way, but an honest one.. I just don't understand what it is about me that is so hard to figure out, or that could be easily missed..

That will be all for now.. Till I can find better words to help me put my point across.

Some Of What I Have Learned So Far..

• "We" vs. "They" thinking is what creates fear and conflict.
• Quiet reflection feeds the soul.
• Friends who listen are rare treasures.
• Life is a privilege.
• Goodnight hugs can heal the day.
• Dogs understand love better than some people do.
• Sunshine promotes a positive attitude.
• One person CAN make a difference in the world.
• People who follow their bliss are the most interesting people.
• There is no end to learning; you just move to the next level.
• While people have the right to be angry, they just don't have the right to be cruel.
• You can't buy what really matters in life.
• Background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
• People who get by on charm can only do so for 15 minutes, after that they better know something or it just won’t work.
• Everyone likes somebody who gets the point quickly.
• If you never doubt your beliefs, then you are wrong a lot.
• Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.
• Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.
• Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes. But the wisdom is still in there.
• Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences. Also, most of what they learn or pick up is from personal observation rather than what their parents ‘tell’ them.
• Every passing face on the street represents a story that is compelling and perhaps more complicated than you might think.
  
• Casual swearing makes people sound dumb, this is besides the fact that it’s just offensive.
• It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.
• Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.
• If everyone in the show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.
• People who yell a lot are always the people who make the situation worse (you guessed it, by yelling).
• Nobody has it all figured out.

- Olympia

Moulin Rouge

I can't remember when I last watched that movie..

As a person, I tend to watch a movie only once.. and rarely is a movie good enough for me to watch again (It has to be really good). The ones that I don't mind watching again are all clear in my head. I guess that what I am trying to say here is that I would never watch something I already saw just to pass time (even if I were bored), I would much rather look for something else to do.

However, that's not why I am writing this post.. The reason is as follows..

There are times where certain movies pop to mind and I can't figure out why, just random lines or scenes with nothing to trigger the thought.. And even though the tittle of this post is a movie I only watched once (not even sure when, probably when it was first released). It was always one of those that was very vivid in my head.

Today was one of those days. My brain is just shifting through still images from that movie.. Even thooough I have so much on my mind that are actually very important!! So I decided to dedicate a post to it since I can't figure out why it comes to my mind so sporadically.

I keep thinking of the cinematography, which can be compared to a Crayola box exploding on screen. Colors were so vivid that Picasso would be jealous. I must admit, the film had a great look, which captured the liveliness of "Moulin Rouge." It was a truly vivacious movie, and it showed it proudly. Granted, the actual love story was something that we've all already seen before in one form or another, but it is this original presentation that made it stand out in my opinion. I also admired Ewan McGregor’s performance in particular, and how genuine his character came across.

All that aside though.. I think the movie's most memorable part was a line that sometimes echoes in my head...

It's the line that goes.. "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return".. I can almost hear them singing it..

I wish that were more than just some line in some movie, but rather something people really take into account and never take for granted.

Hey, maybe that's it.. Maybe it is the meaning behind the line which triggers the whole thing.. I am not sure. What I am sure of however is that that quote speaks volumes, and it is something that many people will probably never realize. Whether it comes to family, friends or just emitting the feeling and knowing how to make people feel loved.. Basically, learning how to be genuine and true.

Who knew all this would come out of a random thought of a scene in a movie! Go figure..

Olympia

Cab Driver

SO..

I haven't written in awhile.. I'm not sure if anyone even reads this anymore..

I've been thinking a lot lately, about everything (it can get overwhelming sometimes).. But today I thought about something totally random (this blog) and how neglectful I am towards it and whether I should continue. I must say, I am not too good at this (at all)! I don't know how to share what I write, there is what I write for myself, which isn't made for anyone to read (mainly because it wouldn't make much sense, but when I re-read it some time later I remember the day or the trail of thought would trigger something.. But then again, at other times I would be like.. err, what??! haha)

I wish I were better at this, I wish I were one of those people who writes things others would look forward to reading.. Things that seem casual and effortless yet very interesting and engaging. I really don't know what to share on here.. I am not even sure what to write about since (with me) it's either personal thoughts and reflections that are for me to reflect on and would probably bore anyone else OR important things that I find odd to share.. mainly because they really wouldn't make sense seeing that this is a nameless blog.. and then comes a big box of everything else that is in between.. and I am not sure I am good at that!

Blekh, I don't like the fact that I can't be a better 'writer'.. I am going to give this some more thought and see what I conclude with.

But for now, I will move on to something else. Two days ago, I needed to get to a bakery and it was close to closing hour since I've been very busy (might talk about that later, maybe). Anywho.. I noticed a cab with it's lights switched off parked in the corner and I walked passed it towards the street and stood there waiting for an available cab to pass by, as soon as I stopped one and gave the address he told me that he had no idea where it was. I told him that I know the area just not the directions to the exact address.. I explained a little but he wasn't sure so I said it was okay (to be honest, my thoughts were I would much rather go with someone who knew than waste time going in circles).. the cab driver shrugged his shoulders made this little confused face, apologized then sped off. No more than a couple of minutes later.. I stop another cab driver and the conversation isn't much different to the first driver.. another formal apology followed by, no worries.. thanks.. and another drive off.. By then I was like.. What's up with the underground bakery!! While I am thinking that I heard and excuse my come from behind my back.. I turn around and find this man standing.. the rest is as follows:

Man: Excuse me?
Me: *turn around* Yes?
Man: Are you okay?
Me: *a little confused* I am..
Man: I was standing there and I noticed you stopping two taxis and not getting in either one of them..
Me: um, yeah *at that point I was wondering who he was?*.. I'm trying to get somewhere but no one seems to know the street.
Man: Well, that right there is my car *points towards the cab I initially saw, parked with it's lights off*
Me: Oh..
Man: What's the street called?
*I tell him*
Man: hmm.. See, I have so many addresses stuck on here *points to his temple* it gets confusing sometimes.. Come with me.
Me: *watching the man walk away while wondering, by the time he opens the drivers seat to his car and takes out one of those gigantic street maps, I follow and stand to the side of the door*
Man: hmm..
Me: I tell him the area and the main post code
Man: Oh, of course! There we go.. Here it is.
Man (again): Do you need directions? or a ride?
Me: mmm.. *smile* a ride? possibly?
Man: haha.. sure, get in.. lunch could always wait.. It's not too far from here y'know.
Me: Yeah, I know.
*he drives me there, and it took no more than 5 minutes as I initially expected.. I also was able to get there before closing time and get what I needed*

As I paid him, I made sure to say 'that was very kind of you by the way'. The man let out an honest smile and simply said 'anytime'

That whole mini event stayed with me.. It actually made my day. I always believed random acts of kindness leave a huge impact.. Now, it's safe for me to say that is true, since I just was on the receiving end.

Thank you *nameless* cab driver.
I wonder if he really knew how that little gesture made me feel.

Random Questions

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? There's a story, but to keep it short. Yes, my paternal grandmother, though I was named by my mother and not father :)

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I can't remember exactly.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I got complimented on it a couple of times, I don't love it or hate it.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? hmm.. I don't know!

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? yeah, I would.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Yes, I do!

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Yeah! I really want to, actually. I'm not sure if I would pull it off.. Maybe sky diving.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? It changes.. I go through phases and others where I don't eat cereal at all. At the moment its crunchy raisin bran flakes? I think that's what they are called.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yeah. I am a geek that way. But I do remember a couple of times when I didn't.. I didn't even use my hands.. each foot just helped the other.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? I don't really eat a lot of ice cream? But it would most probably be a flavor found in Ben and Jerrys.. or lemon sorbet.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Actually, it's a bunch of things at first! I then build on it..

15. RED OR PINK? Depends..

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Being a perfectionist and too hard on myself sometimes.. Oh, and not being able to express myself when I should.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My parents when I am away from them.. I also miss my grandparents, who passed away a few years back.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? Not really, unless they want to (let me know if you do)

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black birkenstock slippers and Pyjama pants.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The tv in the background. THS.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Honestly? White. It used to perplex me as a kid, I wasn't sure how it worked or what it did, I liked it nonetheless.. But seriously? Light blue.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? The smell of dough and fresh baking, certain perfumes that I either like or remind me of a loved one, french vanilla, some flowers and the scent of salty waters. Also, fresh cut grass, this one is not the smell itself, it actually reminds me of good memories.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Texted? My younger brother.. Talked to? Some random guy at the video store to ask about a couple of movies and whether they are available.

25. HOW DO YOU KNOW THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? She's my relative.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? I don't really watch sports.. But I would watch it with a person I like if they were really into it.. As long as they are not fanatics who may creep me out a little :)

27. HAIR COLOR? Dark Brown.

28. EYE COLOR? Brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope.

30. FAVORITE FOOD? General cuisine? Italian, but I do like a bunch of random dishes from different other cuisines. It all depends on what I feel like at the time.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings!

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? I love you man.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Black.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer. Winter can be good.. It depends on where though.

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Both are good, as long they are genuine.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING RIGHT NOW? Blink by Malcolm Gladwell.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don't use a mouse..

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I'm trying to think but I can't remember. Whatever was on I guess.. nothing memorable.

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? My mother's laughter.. a little baby's giggles, water, as in waves hitting the shore.. and silence? I know its not a sound but sometimes silence makes u pay attention to other sounds that you may ignore.. like birds or the leaves being moved by the wind. etc. I appreciate silence and the sense of tranquility it can bring.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Minnesota (The Canadian Boarder)? The Maldives? I don't know they're on opposite sides of the globe so I am not sure which is farthest.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I would have to get back to you on that.

46. FAVORITE PIECE OF JEWELRY? I am not good with favorites (at all!!) But if I really have to, it would be a necklace that says (I love you *my name*) that my mom bought when she was pregnant, the day she found out I was a girl. There are a couple more.. But if I HAVE to name one, that would be it.