The more I reflect, the more I wonder..

You know what? Now I'm honestly starting to wonder whether being kind and true really pays off in the end?

Sunny Side Up

Sunny Side Up is Paolo Nutini's latest album. It's just good music, simple good good music.

Now: A note that has nothing to do with the above statement..

The more I observe, the more I notice that lots of people truly forgot the simple things.. Things like please and thank you, probably even a genuine greeting of hello? Seriously, for one day try to consciously make note of the times in which people say thank you around you or please.. You will be surprised.

I have to admit, the lack of "common courtesy" bothers me a little.. I really think that people should never pass any opportunity to be kind, it really won't cost you a thing but you will never know how it may affect the receiver. Words are not just words, they can brighten someone's day, paint a smile or just make someone feel appreciated. You really never know the endless echoes they leave, good or bad.. Words are not just words.

With that being said.. Being kind is much more important than being nice, it's much more genuine and runs on a much deeper level.

Back to Paolo Nutini.. Here's one of his songs.

On Charm..

It's better to be charmed than to charm..

Those were words that were said by Charles Saatchi

(the guy who started Saatchi & Saatchi, the advertising agency)

I'm not sure if that is self explanatory to all.. Incase it is not, I will elaborate.

What makes people feel good about themselves is feeling as if they have been charming or interesting. In short, have been listened to. The notion that one should oneself be riveting or aim to be the most fascinating person in the room is a vulgarity and just sheer misplaced vanity. Trying to be charming is self-indulgent in a way.. Whereas allowing oneself to be charmed is just good manners.

This reminds me of what my mother once told me. She said that in the end.. The truth is that everyone wants to be loved and feel like they belong, everyone wants to feel like they matter, being that person to those who need it will leave an endless print on them.. I know there is a lot of truth in that.. And those are wise words, said by wise people. One of which I read about, the other of someone I am lucky enough to know.

Yes, I know that there are people who make it difficult, there are those who are mean spirited or ill mannered. People that were raised in a way someone like me or you would never be able to analyze enough to understand, or explain why they are the way they are.. But those are a fair representation of themselves, we are a fair representation of us.

I guess the bottom line is, we are ultimately remembered for what we give.. not what we take.

How are you?

• A week ago, someone asked me if I was okay.. I affirmed.. yes, thank you!

• A few days ago someone asked me if I was okay.. I smiled and assured that yes, I am.

• A couple of days ago, someone asked me if I was okay.. I smiled and said yes..

• Today, someone looked into my eyes and paused for a few seconds as if looking into deep waters, they then moved on to ask me if I was okay.. And I forgot the answer.

This time it was different, this time that person seemed to invade whatever front we all put forward to protect ourselves more than anything.. and that alarmed me for some reason. The fact that that person, a person I don't even know was able to achieve that much when others couldn't.

Nevertheless.. I finally remembered to smile, and say that I was okay..

Witness Protection Program..

So, I saw a lady dressed as a witch this morning (think Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus).. And no, it wasn't for Halloween.. It was far too early and she was far too serious in her mannerisms for it to be play.. Unless she was trying to be ironic in a way and that in itself was an act? I have no idea..

Moving on..

I also saw a lady walking down the road (haha, there's more to this story, I promise). Anyways, this lady was consumed by this phone call and you couldn't help but notice her due to how loud she was, but that's fine.. That happens. Except the next part is just a little off.. So for entertainment purposes, let's cut straight to the next part.. Here goes: As soon as she hung up from her phone call, she was visibly upset.. She walked a few steps, noticed a stray orange balloon (I am not sure what's going on with the balloon either, but it was by the entrance of Starbucks).. She then went forward and picked it up with both hands, clenched it so tight till it burst. As soon as she achieved that much, she let out a sigh of relief and started walking away with some sort of glee. As I crossed by the entrance of Starbucks, I couldn't help but wonder whether that former balloon was just a stray one since there were a couple inside with two little kids (think 5 and 3) the estimated 5 year old had a blue balloon while the 3 year old had non.

Seriously.. Where do these people come from? Why am I witnessing all this as I walk down one busy street in order to make it to my destination? I mean, yes.. I know they say that life is a circus.. I just never knew it could be taken literally.

I wonder, will there be a point where I would be blind to such stuff, as in walk by and not bat an eye?

Probably not..

I still can't walk past a homeless person without wondering about his or her life and what happened, without my heart going out to them a little, especially the elderly.. I also can't walk by any elderly person managing to carry grocery bags that are obviously too heavy for them and not feel bad for them and wish I could help them carry their bags home.

Re-Occuring Thoughts..

Lately, my days have been very hazy. Sometimes being insanely busy can almost merge days together where sleep is the only divide. And when I say sleep.. I mean not enough of it (at all), but it's the only thing that separates the hectic hours of the day.

Right now, I am doing my internship phase - something I have to do right after school, and before thinking of the next step really. I do consider myself lucky.. As it is at a very good place and is something very surreal and extremely interesting. Even though I am loving it so far, it's also very busy, hectic and demanding (note: I'm very much used to that last part, and I know anything worth it isn't easy at all, I've learned that part very well over the past few years) However, the long and daily back to back hours can be exhausting and basically.. It feels like I get home late after a long day, eat dinner, go to sleep and it's tomorrow all of a sudden. (By the way, non of this is said in a whiny nor complaining kind of way.. Not at all..)

Early morning the next day is when I wake up, shower, eat my breakfast, get ready and make my way towards the day ahead.. (you get the picture)..

However, today.. as I was getting ready I started thinking..

I can't remember the last real friend I had. And when I say friend, I mean a real friend. Not random social gatherings that turn into an obligation almost, with people you do like but don't really (know) regardless of how long you have known them. But a friend/friends whom you know are there and people you count on as ones who will always be there almost like sisters (I have non by the way, and the funny part is I feel a little bad about that fact now, though I never thought about it in the past).. To be able to look back, 40 years from now and reminisce on the times, laugh about what is silly and feel nostalgic towards the good?

Lately I have come to realize that people don't really know me (I don't mean that in a bad way, but they just don't know me.. I can't think of a better way to say it) and I find that very unsettling. I know I live away and changed a lot.. And I have to put that into consideration. But I still believe in the statement I mentioned prior and I mean it towards people whom distance should not have affected. I guess I am the kind of person who isn't easy to get to know? That my shy nature could be misunderstood for something else? That quiet can be taken for boring? I don't know.. Or maybe it's just that I am one who is very easily forgotten? I don't know.. But it's unsettling to realize that people who you think should know you better, don't. I wonder a lot but never understand what it is that I could possibly be doing wrong, how one could genuinely care for people yet get lost in the shuffle.

Maybe this is me venting? Perhaps.. The thing is, I do consider myself as a good person, a very good one actually with a lot to offer the world? and I am not saying this in a big headed kind of way, but an honest one.. I just don't understand what it is about me that is so hard to figure out, or that could be easily missed..

That will be all for now.. Till I can find better words to help me put my point across.

Some Of What I Have Learned So Far..

• "We" vs. "They" thinking is what creates fear and conflict.
• Quiet reflection feeds the soul.
• Friends who listen are rare treasures.
• Life is a privilege.
• Goodnight hugs can heal the day.
• Dogs understand love better than some people do.
• Sunshine promotes a positive attitude.
• One person CAN make a difference in the world.
• People who follow their bliss are the most interesting people.
• There is no end to learning; you just move to the next level.
• While people have the right to be angry, they just don't have the right to be cruel.
• You can't buy what really matters in life.
• Background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
• People who get by on charm can only do so for 15 minutes, after that they better know something or it just won’t work.
• Everyone likes somebody who gets the point quickly.
• If you never doubt your beliefs, then you are wrong a lot.
• Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.
• Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.
• Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes. But the wisdom is still in there.
• Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences. Also, most of what they learn or pick up is from personal observation rather than what their parents ‘tell’ them.
• Every passing face on the street represents a story that is compelling and perhaps more complicated than you might think.
  
• Casual swearing makes people sound dumb, this is besides the fact that it’s just offensive.
• It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.
• Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.
• If everyone in the show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.
• People who yell a lot are always the people who make the situation worse (you guessed it, by yelling).
• Nobody has it all figured out.

- Olympia